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May 21, 2017

BT Broadband have sent me an e-mail telling me my £100 reward card is on its way and they are activating my cashback, too.

They classify my telephone exchange with Chris on Friday when I told him he’d made a mistake as an “incident” for some reason. They of course gave the “incident” a number.

The first thing you notice when you call them is a computerised greeting with a female voice which tries to get you to summarise the purpose of your call.

It goes something like this:

Her: “Hello, thank you for calling BT. To help us to connect you to the right person quicker can you tell us in a short sentence why you are calling today.”

Me: “I’m bloody furious.”

Her: “You’re curious about upgrades so want our most expensive deal. Is that right?”

Me: “No. I’m spitting tacks.”

Her: “You fear attacks so want our extra special expensive protection package. Is that right?”

Me: “No, I’m irate.”

Her: “You need the highest possible rate so want our most expensive package. Is that right?”

Me: “No, I’m going spare now.”

Her: “OK. You want a second service for your spare room. I’ll put you through to one of our customer service advisors who will help you to set up a second service.”

You then hear a message telling you that they are incredibly busy and it may take many minutes before you speak to a human being.

I’m pretty certain that Chris had been told to tell callers like me that I didn’t qualify for a reward and hope that I’d accept it and not make a fuss. I imagine many people just don’t bother.






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